Theodore Roosevelt National Park

We left Glacier National Park bright and early, and headed east towards Theodore Roosevelt National Park. We knew that this was one of the least visited national parks due to its small size and remote location in North Dakota, and that it had our favorite geologic wonder (BADLANDS!), but knew very little else.

We pulled into the small town of Medora, ND and were quite alarmed to see a very busy small town main street. There were lots of people, cars, and motorcycles milling about.

The campground we were headed for was a first come / first serve, and as we pulled up to the park entrance we saw the dreaded Campground Full sign in the kiosk. We parked and went into the Visitor Center to ask for recommendations.

They told us we could try the campground in the North Unit of the park -- it was usually less busy and didn't often fill up during the summer. We went back to Numa to consider our options. We were beyond done with camping, so I called a few motels to see if there were any rooms -- but alas, they were fully booked. For my own edification I needed to know why this middle of nowhere town was so busy -- turns out the hubbub on main street were spectators and participants of the Maah Daah Hey Trail long-distance mountain bike race, which connects all three units of the park.

So, we were out of options at the present location. I found a hotel for $99 in the next town north, a little bit past the north unit of the park, which was an hour away from where we were. We set that aside as plan B while we grumbled about having to drive another hour after the 560 miles we had already covered that day.

We crossed a timezone as we proceeded north, and moved an hour forward. We pulled into the north unit and half hoped to see the Campground Full sign so we could go sleep in a real bed. Amazingly... there was no sign. We drove into the campground and was less than thrilled to see that there were plenty of sites available. We made a few loops and settled on a private site not too close to anyone else. The campsite was only $15 which was the singular reason why we stayed.

All was not as it seemed.

I passed a woman and said hello. She both looked and sounded like she could be Sarah Palin's sister.

"We've come to a dangerous place." I told Vitali as he suddenly noticed the Trump stickers on the RV in the next site over. "We must tread carefully."

We went to fill our water bottles and were surprised to see a pale yellow liquid come out of the spigot. Hmmm... we smelled it and it smelled okay. We tasted it and it tasted awful. It was the worst water we had ever drank. We supposed it was a high amount of sediment in the groundwater, considering the color of the water was very close to the color of the surrounding earth.

By the time we had made dinner and showered, it was still over 90 degrees. Phew. We sat in the tent for awhile, it being too warm to go to sleep. Occasionally we'd feel like something was crawling on our skin but when we'd look there was nothing. We didn't think much of it, and went to sleep.

The next morning we woke up with a few bug bites. We supposed something really was nibbling us in the night, and cursed our luck.

We drove down the scenic drive in the North Unit and stopped at Oxbow Lookout, which was a beautiful overlook at an oxbow shaped bend in the river.

It had a historic CCC shelter built at the viewpoint. Here we learned a bit about the history of the park -- that Theodore Roosevelt had come here during his youth to hunt bison. It left such a mark on him that after losing his wife and mother on the same day in 1884, he came back to North Dakota to tend to his grief. He built Elkhorn Ranch (the third unit of the park), and raised cattle there until the starvation winter of 1886-1887, when he lost a majority of his herd. He credited these experiences as foundational for the development of his conservation policies. Fun Fact: Teddy and I share a birthday!

We left the overlook and wanted to hike to a place called Prairie Dog Town but we found the trail closed and were quite disappointed. I noticed at this point that my ankles were starting to get really itchy. I looked at them, and they were covered in bites. We're talking 30 bites a foot. I was confused as to why the bites seemed to be multiplying and considered amputation in an effort to decrease the itchiness.

As we drove around the park I started to notice even more groupings of bites all over my body. I would continue finding them over the next two days -- and I was even worried we had some sort of infestation in our car. Vitali was bitten up too.

I did a little googling and it turns out... we were eaten alive by chiggers, which are not detectable by the naked eye, and leave tiny little bites in large groups that take a day or two to start itching. We were really starting to dislike North Dakota.

We continued our tour. The badlands in the North Unit were not unlike Capitol Reef National Park in their general shape and color, the method of geologic formation being similar (although with different processes to expose them). These had the characteristic striping of badlands, and to be fair, were quite beautiful.

We stopped at another river overlook which was less exciting -- but the interpretive signs told us that the Prairie Grassland ecosystem has more biodiversity than any other biome -- save for rainforests. Which frankly, shocked us.

We stopped at the North Unit Visitor Center and met a couple from New Braunfels, TX who were also big National Park fans -- they had been to 40 something parks over their lifetime together.

We left the North Unit and drove back down to the South Unit to eyeball the attractions there. We couldn't visit Elkhorn Ranch due to the 4WD requirement. The timezone changed back to an hour behind...

Our first stop in the South Unit were the cannonball concretions, which are deposits of minerals that form under mysterious circumstances. The theory is that mineral rich waters seep through the badlands and deposit the minerals in voids, which accumulate as time goes on, like a pearl, and are then exposed through erosion. They were pretty neat.

We stopped off at a few more overlooks along the scenic drive and saw quite a few American Bison.

It looked to me like the bison were wondering why they were in North Dakota too.

Finally... we stopped off at a point of interest and found the prairie dogs we were promised! They were everywhere, adorably plague-ridden. The park brochure described these prairie dog towns as metropolises -- and I can see why. Lots of hustle and bustle as they ran around to each other's mounds and communicated nearby dangers.

We continued on the drive and then pulled off to do the Coal Vein Trail, which seemed to be the only hike open that seemed worthwhile. It was slated to get up near 100 degrees that day, and it was already in the upper 80s.

It was a short hike that supposedly passed by an exposed coal vein that burned for many years, but we didn't see it. What we did see were several unprepared tourists walking out into this parched hellscape without water...

We left the South Unit without much ado and headed towards the Painted Canyon Visitor Center, another area of interest in the park. This area was much busier compared to the other two areas we visited, being an exit right off of 94. It had a great view of the badlands.

I overhead a woman incorrectly attribute the stratification of the soil to "where the high water mark was", like a bathtub ring typical of reservoirs. I had to flee before I had the chance to tell her she was an ignorant fool who should read the interpretive signs to educate herself!

We debated buying a really cute bison stuffed animal in the Visitor Center but couldn't justify it taking up space in our car... Scamper would lick it to death too.

We packed up and left, heading east towards Bismarck, where we goggled at how little traffic there was in a supposed capital city. We did eat some really good steaks though.

After our experiences in North Dakota -- our first and last (so we vowed)... the awful water quality, the Trumpers, the insect invasion (I still have marks on my legs a month later), and the scorching temperatures... We decided that whenever we had something happen to us that seemed to happen without reason, and we would question why, the answer would be -- "North Dakota". That was all the explanation needed for any inexplicable cruelty and indifference of the universe that we might experience.